Dragging my feet...?? Sometimes it sure feels that way...

This post is a reflection on the last month and the interesting place I have found myself in these days. For the most part I have absolutely no complaints about service, community, and country here in the last two years..Its pretty amazing to think that you can have the absolute freedom to do whatever you want and determine your projects on a daily basis. To be able to go to the beach and the next day go climb a 10,000 ft peak and still call it ¨work¨. However, I have done all these things it seems and I currently have a common feeling in my stomach that we all have from time to time when you start to question what you are doing and if you need some change small or big to get out of the so called funk.

I have been reflecting on this funk and at first very one-sidedly... but after some consult, I have begun to see the things I love about being here. Its a hard argument to have with yourself because the places are so different to begin with but How can I say the ability to get change at the grocery store is worth more than the ability to walk into anyones house and sit down for a meal at a moments notice? Or the freedom of working in an undefined volunteer capacity vs. the benefits of saving money from a well paying job? I want both seemingly and cant have them.

So it becomes a question of finishing a commitment until some arbitrary date with rather unimpressive benefits, like a pat on the back...or picking up and leaving to some other uncertain future that may or may not exceed my high expectations. So I guess I am trying my best to see the issue from all sides and get my doses of reality so that I can decide whats best for me and when...?

This may or may not be confusing to some, but its just like any other job, or task in life with all of its benefits and burdens and I have to ride it out until I see the next big cliff to jump off!

As for a quick recap of the past month... Erica headed home on the 11th and since then it has been a bit of a transition, so far so good...The Women have finally reached a pinnacle of success (Potentially) and gone from making $0 pesos to an average of $10,000 pesos a month (Thats more than I make)...if thats the case I feel that I have done my job quite well, even though it involved many people and a lot of luck and generosity...However, with More money comes More Problems!... We have surpassed the grassroots development of small business for income generation and moved onto a more mid level business in this country and that will require more change and adjustment for the business...so we will see about that (Exciting but Scary)!...Possibly meeting with USAID to start a pilot program such as this in other regions of the country to produce locally and provide to the undernourished persons in that region while putting money into the local flow of the economy of the campos...Of course this is accompanied by a money management and savings education campaign...so that would be another big big big huge project... not sure if I want to be in charge as much as an inspiration-idea guy for it all...Then I have just been doing site development and about a million meetings in the Capital for all kinds of things...Hoping to spend most of April in my shack...nice and tranquillo!

Happy Easter to all, Good Luck Pat and Kacie with the Baby and lets see some of you down here soon!